~ Early Web Links ~

Totally Absurd Inventions showcases the funniest real patents ever issued by the US government, from tricycle lawn mowers to diaper alarms, celebrating the wonderfully eccentric side of American ingenuity. Running since 1997, the site features an archive of bizarre but genuine patented products, making it a treasure trove for anyone who loves quirky trivia and offbeat humor.

GEORGE is an absurdist internet collective built around a deliberately nonsensical mythology, presenting surreal proclamations about a mysterious entity called GEORGE with deadpan humor. The site lists community members, links to forums and IRC channels, and presents its joke-statistics and pseudo-corporate copy with a knowing wink to old-web culture.

Intuitor Insultingly Stupid Movie Physics reviews Hollywood films and rates them for their egregious violations of real physics principles, turning bad science into an entertaining and educational experience. The site is both a humor destination and a genuine teaching resource, with lesson plan connections and detailed breakdowns of cinematic physics blunders.

Built by Greg Technology, Slow Marathon is a clever little web tool that calculates how many marathon-distances you have walked over your lifetime using exported iPhone Health app data. All processing happens locally in the browser, so your personal health data never leaves your device, making it both privacy-friendly and genuinely fun to use.

Internet Bumper Stickers offers a collection of over 4,000 free virtual bumper stickers designed for use on social media, blogs, websites, and email signatures. The stickers cover humorous, sarcastic, political, and general interest themes, giving users a quick way to express opinions online with shareable image graphics.

Hoehel is a playful parody of Google built entirely in the West Flemish dialect, serving as a humorous regional search portal for 'het WestVlaams Wide Web.' The site mimics the classic Google homepage interface with search options, language toggles, and navigation links all rendered in the distinctive phonetic spelling of the West Flemish vernacular.

alongcomesmary's Neocities homepage greets visitors with a quirky, self-aware welcome message and a content warning for flashing blinkies and Adult Swim references. The site is a work-in-progress personal page with a 14+ general rating, built for Firefox fullscreen with some JavaScript interactivity.

Trygve Lode's comedic column 'The Philosophy of Kissing' answers a fake advice letter by defining kisses through the lens of famous philosophers, from Aristotle's purely theoretical smooches to Zeno's lips that approach but never touch. Part of the Unnatural Enquirer humor archive, it's a clever blend of philosophical parody and absurdist wit that rewards anyone who knows their Hegel from their Heisenberg.

Part of Stefan Bohacek's 'Weird Web October 2025' series, this entry presents a spooky interactive page riffing on the famous nuclear waste warning messages designed to deter future humans from digging up buried radioactive sites. Visitors are greeted with ominous ceremonial language and given a choice to leave or ignore the warning, making it a clever piece of weird-web interactive art.

Frank West pronounces emoticons for you is a quirky single-page gag site where a character (likely from Dead Rising) vocalizes a long list of classic text emoticons and kaomoji. It's a charming piece of internet absurdity that will delight anyone who grew up communicating in ASCII faces.